Reflections on an extraordinary challenge
Nicki Kelly is an ordinary woman who completed an extraordinary challenge. Last week she joined our Unjudged storytelling session and shared her story. It made me think, laugh and cry in almost equal measure. Let me tell you a little about it…
The woman behind the challenge
Nicki Kelly is an alumni of our Becoming Journey®. She came to us when she was stuck in her career, in a job that she disliked. She had no clear idea of what the future held, other than the fact that she had signed up for a challenge: to row the Atlantic Ocean with Caroline Hague and Rachel Smillie.
Over the course of our work together, we got to know Nicki: her forthright nature, dry sense of humour, courage, caring, persistence – many qualities shone through. But, and I say this in the nicest possible way, what also stood out was her ordinariness. She is “just” a woman, no different to you, your sister, mother, wife, friend, colleague. She has caring responsibilities, a job, a partner, hobbies, friends, chores to do, aches and pains, you name it…
And yet, of course, she took on an extraordinary challenge.
The highlights of the story
At our Unjudged® event, Nicki gave us a bit of an insight into that challenge. I can’t do it justice in words, but here are some of my highlights:
- Videos which brought to life the vast scale and raw power of the ocean (and made me feel seasick just watching them!).
- Details that astonished me – 60 days in a boat that was only 10mx2.5m, the need to consume 6000calories per day, the sleeping quarters where two people sleep closer together than they would in a single bed, the 5 miles of water between you and the bottom of the ocean.
- Stories that made me smile – “Bernard the boat hook” who nearly got left behind but ended up being used for many different essential tasks.
- Insights that made me wince – how do you force yourself to sit and row for hours when you have salt sores on your bottom, palms and fingers?
- Moments that brought tears to my eyes – the day when the joy of meeting another boat was eclipsed by learning that a rower on another boat had died as a result of a cardiac event.
The questions
The people who came to listen to Nicki’s story had more questions than we could answer in the hour (and frankly, we could probably have filled two!).
We tackled some of the more practical questions, such as what was the lowest point (being stuck in Sargasso seaweed), and what do you eat when you finally get back to dry land (chicken Caesar salad and ice cream).
And we addressed some more fundamental questions too, such as:
- How was your experience impacted your decision making now? Nicki talked about the power of fear to control you, and the mantra she has taken from her journey to “control the controllables”.
- What did you learn about team dynamics? Nicki spoke with passion about the principle they stuck to that “no matter what was going on, we’ve got to be kind”.
- How did the challenge impact your family? Nicki brought tears to my eyes as she explained the goodbyes that she had to make before leaving, just in case they were necessary.
Reflecting on Nicki’s extraordinary challenge
At the end of Nicki’s story, she invited us each to reflect on one question: “What’s your ocean row?”.
That question really made me think. We won’t all row an ocean, but we all face challenges. Some are invited in – Nicki chose to row the Atlantic. Some are forced upon us – one woman’s journey of raising black son’s in the UK. Some stories are personal – Lea’s life with MS, Sarah’s struggle with mental health, Annmarie’s experience of resilience. Some are overwhelmingly public – Gisele Pelicot’s fight for justice for women in society.
But, beyond a doubt, we will all face challenges. What is yours?
